Steady as she goes....

I don't really exist...I'm merely a figment of all your imaginations...to some a bad dream...to others a dream come true....

Yes. I really do believe that.

Let's catch up.



Some of you have asked how the tree ended up. You know what....I did such a poor job of recording our holiday that I failed to get an "end" picture of the tree. The photo above was about a week into December and the photo below was far enough along, and, yet, not at its completion.



Once Adam was home for the holiday, we set forth with our baking. We made ornaments this year that, sadly, did not all survive. A couple of people got the little lovely twine orbs, but, I doubt they will last. Several that we made for loved ones crumbled before delivery. Something about those ornaments seems so representative of the entire holiday season. It was so simple and so genuine and yet so bound to unravel....and...it did....I'll get to that.






I know. I know. I didn't rotate that last photo. I enjoyed my baking so much that I took a slew of photos. I should have paid closer attention to my recipes. I failed with my Martha Washington balls (think chocolate covered cherries with a less messy center). The snowman poop turned out good, though, and I liked the combo of goods in their little Christmas tree dishes with the mistletoe tied on top. Adam actually climbed a ladder and trimmed mistletoe from our tree to give to our neighbors (and hang in our home). We also baked white chocolate toffee cookies.

Yum.

I gained 8 pounds. I may have gained 2 more just by typing the word toffee.

While we are on food, let me digress. The kids and I have a very rigid schedule we follow during the week and we rarely deviate from that schedule. I'm inflexible and unyielding....two of my better qualities. SOOOO, when Adam has an extended break from school, I tend to kind of fall apart. I go into uber lazy mode and I fail to complete anything remotely constructive. Going to the grocery store and such menial tasks become daunting and elusive.

So, my kids asked for Spaghettios. Don't judge me. I've never given them any....until that frigid, dark December day (oh, yeah, it never was shabby weather, eh?)



We had a day full of family activities...and I'd cooked until I could cook no more, so I caved. They HATED them. Wouldn't touch them after one taste. I was delighted....

Back to the story.

So, it is Christmas break and Adam is home and I am excrutiatingly more dysfuntional than usual...and, while I began Christmas shopping in September, I find myself running out every day for last minute things...gifts...food to cook for gatherings....stuff.

Stuff.

Things.

I'm not sure what happened. I just know I was so happy to be with my family that I didn't take a single picture at most gatherings, and, the one gathering where I did take photos, I realized what I was doing and sat my camera down and just enjoyed....

Children laughed and played and delighted in the company of their cousins and elders and they ate...they ate sweets and treats and so many good things....and they didn't have to conform to my schedule, because it was break, vacation. We just enjoyed each other. I cannot really tell you what we did or where we went. I just know I saw lots of smiling and loving faces. Did I see everyone I love? No. :( I'm sad about that until I realize I just have so many people I love that it wasn't even possible to fit all those lovely people into that little span of a few days.

Did we have some family failure moments during the holiday? ABSOLUTELY. In fact, I struggled last year with a bad attitude and with allowing other people's negativity to sour me day in and day out. I suffer from emotional adoption syndrome. I'm a Cancer. It's a cancer...of it's own nature. As the year began to wind down I began to see clearly how much I allow other people's sadness and negativity to affect me. I want to fix. I want to resolve. I want to conclude.

Some people just make that impossible. Because....some people WANT to be sad and negative and dramatic. So, my Christmas gift to myself was to stitch my little heart up (oh what a martyr victim I am) and just realize that I can fill myself with joy and delight that flows from all of the amazing people in my life and those who are sad, who won't accept an extended hand....well....I typed a lot, and I deleted a lot. Some people surprised me is a very postive way over the holidays and some devastated me. But, I had that coming, now didn't I?

But the good...oh the good overflowed and how blessed we were to share the season.

I guess I captured a few things....

Glowing lights...



Waller....



Warmth....



Love....



And, yes, gifts...there were gifts...not many....but what we got was plentiful for sure.





I've never closed a holiday or a year with more self-clarity or more affirmation that I can be positive and live positive with love and light. For everyone, I wish you a very happy, peaceful, and fulfilling New Year! What a blessing to have a whole new opportunity to travel around the Sun and enjoy all of the amazing people we have in our lives.

That is the focus this year, that is the resolution....the people and the attitude towards them.

Love.

Or not.

You choose ;)

Love,

Your eternally devoted (or eternally hateful) Crab