Stup-a-fizz

Alya has asked that we refrain from calling her Piggy or Louise (or Piggy Loise...sign...sad whimper) and, instead, just call her Snacks. I'm willing to try to accomodate that, as hard as it might be, because the other things she wants these days are undoable.

I appreciate that Alya appears to be a withdrawn and excrutiatingly anti-social child. In fact, the other day, her best friends came to play. They busied themselves with Ben while Alya ran back and forth along the fenceline. She'll run (usually from the front door of our living room to the door to the den) and she'll stop and mumble something under her breath and wring and twist her hands and manipulate her fingers in an odd sign language type movement (odd because it is most definitely NOT sign language) and then she will start running again. When this began, I felt concerned. It's an odd mannerism and it can go on for an hour or more. It is very intense, and she prefers not to be bothered or interrupted during this time.

Is it an odd seizure?

Well, no. You can ask Alya at any time what she is pretending, and she will tell you. Now, her stories are always vibrantly articulated and very interesting. The plotlines are generally free flowing and artistic and Anna is generally the protagonist. Alya simply likes to pretend. Sometimes she invents video games (instead of playing the video games she has) and sometimes she uses her playtime to explain a situation that Anna is going through (that oftentimes correlates to something Alya is experiencing). Recently, Anna was swimming by herself because she was 64 and didn't need swimming lessons anymore.

Maybe Alya needs an outlet to articulate her own emotions.

Nope.

Alya comes to me multiple times throughout the day to explain why she no longer wants to go to swimming lessons or dance. She explains to me that she'd like a new house and new food and new toys. She tells me that she feels angry and disappointed....and excited...Alya has no trouble expressing herself....to me...but she shuts down around other adults. So, August is going to be quite interesting.

Alya has been fixated on us getting a new house. She says she wants new food and new toys, which, apparently is facilitated via a new house. I explain that we cannot just go buy a new house. Well, "how did you buy this house," she will ask. I explain. "Why did you pick this house?" "Can we build a new house?" "Can we move this house and put a new one here (so we do not have to leave our friends)?" "Can we put another house on the roof?" (That is my fave!) "Can we buld a new house on top?" She is obsessed, and she asks me these same questions almost daily.

She also asked recently if she believes in Jejus (JEEJJUSS) which I found endearing because we talk about Jesus a lot, but we also talk about other philosophies and ideas and thoughts. This is really another topic for another day, but I thought her saying 'Jejus' was cute.

Alya is very thoughtful....still vehemently opposed to being photographed...and 100% the most headstrong child I have ever met. I throw in the photographing item per exhibit (A) above and just because I always feel like more pictures would help when I am telling you these stories about Alya.

For those who are wondering what the "dance" verdict was: we gave Alya the option to choose if she will go on stage or not. She is expected to keep her commitment to her class until the end of the year and to dress the day of the recital and go, if for no other reason, to support her classmates. I cannot fathom forcing her to do something she is scared of just because we want to watch her. That just seems selfish. I am glad to force her to go to the doctor or take swim lessons (things she hates but that are necessary), but I just cannot force her to do something so superficial. She goes to dance and gets the benefit of the instruction and exercise, but, the recital is a photo op. I'm sure some folks would disagree and say I should help her get past her fear of being in front of an audience, but why? If that fear is just part of who she is, if Alya is just a shy and demure girl, then I'd like to celebrate that, because it is a part of what makes Alya, Alya.

While Alya may have a fiery temper and an absolutely unbreakable resolve, all I can really do is help her to be herself without harming herself or others (because she would harm herself or others..she can be quite violent). I do not want to change anything about who she is. Alya got herself into time out twice yesterday (which is unusual...Ben is generally in his chair). She threw several things yesterday and had a generally rough day (see her lunchtime photo). Last night she got mad again and screamed, "I am going to destroy everything." She meant it. If given the chance, Alya would absolutely mow over everything in her path and destroy it. Why, oh why, would you ever want to alter that passion in any way.

Why?