Gold glitter

Ben is enjoying soccer. His team has yet to win (they didn't even score a goal last week); but the boys on his team understand the principles of playing fairly and having fun. That's what counts. We are having fun watching.

Don't hang up the shin guards on Alya yet...



She starts dance tomorrow. I must admit, I am ever so excited about the outfit, and I have debated over what color ponytail holders to use all week. Lame?

A recent yard sale find...it is very Monte Python"esque"...



The mandatory GiGi picture:




I've been concerned about Anna. See, here's the thing, her head is about to fall off. She is super nasty, and I need to wash her, but I am certain a spin through the machine is going to undo that already wonky head. I checked, and Anna is sold at Wal Mart (and her name is not Anna, but don't tell Alya). I am just not sure how Alya would react to a fresh, robed Anna. Apparently, Alya is aware something is wrong though, thus, the Band-Aid.



Don't despair, though, Anna got a new ride this week...



Wishing this could be my specialist next month:



The fabulous retro furnitue find for the week:



Cone head, aka bucket head, aka Boo Boo. Poor Boo Boo:



Less pictures and more words next time. I am reading Chuck Klosterman's "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", so I am feeling a bit inspired!

Stinger

I don't know about you guys, but, at my house, there is invariably a toy that seems to follow me around. Not only is the thing always out of its appropriate place, it seems to always show up where I am.....

Like this "pasta spoon" that belongs to the kids' kitchen set...

DUN...



DUN....



DUN....



Sometimes I feel like it watches me. Dirty poon. (intentional typo)

So I posted a similar picture on Facebook. Ben's favorite dress up this week is superhero princess. I am super confused by people who get ripped up over this. Ben has not asked to wear a dress out yet, but I figure it is bound to come up. Will I let him? Of course!



I asked Alya to cooperate for a picture....



While Ben has taken the post as "most difficult child" lately, Alya definitely gets my vote for most generally annoying while being super adorable at the same time. It isn't a myth that twins flip flop with who is the good/bad kid. I promise this is a real phenomenon, and, generally, both kids will not be all bad or all good at the same time. One kid will be "good" and the other will be B.A.D.

For example, I have asked Ben 5,983,063,267,985 times to sit on his rear end on the couch. They are watching their post snack cartoon, and he is balancing oddly on his head in a manner that makes me think his neck might snap. Now, I appreciate that I am ridiculously negative and pessimistic, but seriously, I don't need the kid getting a neck injury. What doesn't he understand about "PLEASE DON'T TRY TO PRECARIOUSLY BALANCE YOUR ENTIRE AWKWARD 4 YEAR OLD BODY ON THE TIP OF YOUR HEAD"? Seems simple enough, no?

Alya being the "good" kid right now simply means she isn't sick, she is relatively cooperative about her daily chores (dressing herself, cleaning up after herself, etc.), and she has had appropriate manners. She still tried to bite me yesterday and she hit her brother twice this morning. I think I also heard her say "bullshit" under her breath. I could go on, but I don't want to taint that "good kid" idea you have in your mind. She is shy and somewhat meek, but never angelic. In fact, I think she is my Scorpio side of my Scorpio/Sagittarius cusp babies....she will sting you when you least expect it.

Damn Scorpios.

The bad kid, well, I am not sure if I want to blog about him today. Ben is hateful lately just for the sake of being hateful, and, that quality, which all kids exhibit at some point or another, is oft the bain of my existence. So, since none of you had any breakfast ideas, riddle me this.....or rather, just answer the question.

If spanking and time out don't work, what is next?

He's a sensitive Sagittarius (other side of that cusp). FRANCIE....what punishment did you hate most as a child?

I need parenting help, and I ain't too proud to beg.

Well it's true that we love one another.....

There are more than this....but birds are popping up everywhere in our house....and we have started changing out art. We can't afford to redecorate, and things seem stale, so we finished the kitchen yesterday (what else are you going to do when you are stuck in the house with a sick kid who only wants to play with his sister?)

Anytime I pull out the camera these days, GI GI is lazing nearby. It is becoming a bit of a joke.



Sooooo....Daddy has gone back to work and the kids and I are falling into our routine. "School" starts here next week. We've been insanely busy with appointments and such, so I am going to be interested to see how well we buckle down and work.




The kids (and I) are on a smoothie kick. Several mornings a week, we make smoothies to have with breakfast. I generally freeze some fruit (blueberries, blackberries, mango) and throw those in the blender with bananas and soy milk. We like to put in a touch of vanilla too. If I don't have frozen fruit on hand, I just crush a little ice. I've made them in the past with yogurt too. We are trying different fruits each week, and the kids LOVE to help. Thanks, Katie, for the blender!

Sooooo, here is my question for all you parents: My kids insist on having a banana every morning, which is fine, but then they often decline breakfast. They won't give up the banana. I generally offer yogurt, toast, applesauce, oatmeal, eggs, waffles, or pancakes for breakfast. They are getting bored and so am I. What do your kids LOVE to have for breakfast????? Mine are even tired of banana muffins. I have tried breakfast "cookies" and casseroles and they HATE anything that is a combo meal. They like things simple and tasty. So, ideas....PLEASE...send me some ideas. And, yes, I do a cold bowl of cereal (no milk) once a week. I am a normal parent. I just know how important this meal is and I want to make it count. They were such great breakfast eaters until about a month ago. Advice? Thoughts?

Currently Ben loves: Hot Wheels cars, Kinects, CitiBlocks, Lincoln Logs, Tinker Toys, his sister, Lucy, blackberries and blueberries, cherry Icees, foot massages, soccer, and speaking in a dialect with Alya that I do not understand.

Currently Ben hates: "Itchy sticks" (throat swabs), the smoke detector in his bedroom (because the light blinks), and milk.

Alya loves: Anna (her favorite doll that Ga Ga bought her for Christmas), Stacey (Maceo), having her hair "fixed", dancing, imaginative play, the color pink, and goat cheese.

Alya hates: Every other thing on Earth that is not listed in the "like" section.

I know I bragged about it recently on Facebook, but I need to gloat again. My EP took a moment suring our serious discussion this morning to comment on how well behaved the kids are. He said his kids would have had the place turned over. It makes me so happy. Wait for it.....here it comes....it is like an erruption waiting to happen....the downside is that people surely do not believe me when I tell them my children can be absolutely hideous at home. They don't act put out, they just have smart mouths. They come by them honestly.

They do get in trouble for talking back and being "fresh" (yeah, apparently my word that I put out there years and years ago for "nice" or "good" now meanswhat it meant in the 80s....you know, fresh, like getting frisky or being inappropriate).....but when they are not being fresh, they are still being smart mouths....and it is funny, so I get in trouble, because they get positive reinforcement for something I do not want them to do.

So, Friday morning the kids and I went to an estate sale. Of course, Ben was curious about why the sale was indoors, and he was a bit concerned that everything was being sold. I realized later he was probably putting 2 and 2 together, because he said that he "felt very sad that people die and don't see each other any more". Now, our conversations about death can be counted on a hand and the information I have provided has been limited, BUT, with an Atheist father and a mother who believes in reincarnation, I realize he has probably stumbled upon the conclusion that death is death. Done. Apparently it is time for me to elaborate with him. However, since we were driving and I could not look him in the eye, I simply explained that a lot of people believe in heaven and that you get to see the people you love when everyone is dead. Crickets. I don't think we are going to have a taker on that. Maybe, when the time is right, we can discuss the different ideas about what happens to our souls, and he will feel more at peace understanding that the energy leaves our bodies (he is confident about that) and that it doesn't just fail to exist.....it is energy....it must go somewhere, so, surely, somehow, someway, we still get to be "in touch" with those we love and adore....in some way or another. But that is not where I wanted to go with this today....

He is just so frank, and thoughtful.

Oh, yes, the freshness...

So we left the estate sale and went to a yard sale. I asked the kids what they wanted to have for lunch...."TENDERS".....of course, because, as Alya put it, "[she] didn't want to eat at home, [she] wanted to go somewhere to eat". ;]

**************************************
Something in the editing of this got screwed up. I apologize. I cannot revise the post...and it is now incomplete. So now you will probably never know the fresh/funny thing Ben said....oh, well...okay....better late than never.

Me: "Let's go to Pizza Hut, not Tenders."
Them: "NOOOOO TENDERS...."
Me: "What's not to like about Pizza Hut?"
Ben: "The way the pizza tastes."

Right? See what I am working with here?

Jack Legs

So a girlfriend of mine posted on Facebook today that she was asked on a questionnaire at the pediatrician's office if she treats her child with remedies made with moonshine.

I like to treat myself with moonshine, but the kids...not.so.much.

I suppose when I get done laughing, I have to really stop and consider that this obviously happens enough to warrant a question on the patient's health history sheet at this particular pediatric office.

There are people who give their kids moonshine....as a treatment....

There are people who still make moonshine?!

Oh, wait, yeah, I was offered a glass within the year. I'll retract that as something 'super surprising'.

I guess the question here is, "what in the hell are people thinking????" That is coming from someone who fully embraces homeopathic remedies and alternative medicine. I respect it. I understand it. I've been thrust into it with force via Western medicine. Does my family still use many typical and traditional treatment methods? Yes. Are our philosophies changing on medications? OH YES.

Here is the thing, though, parenting encompasses a lot more than choices for medical care, and I certainly won't represent that I am going to cover everything here today. What I am going to do is draw a few inferences and correlations, and, maybe, piss a few people off.

So let's do this thing.

I believe a few things about parenting:

1. What works in your house for you and your kids is your business. Ditto for me. Whatever is appropriate for your family and is not of harm to anyone but one's self (consentually) is a go. If warming up moonshine to put in a weepy kid's infected ear works for you and is of no harm to the kid, fine. Giving the kid a shot of it to ingest...nuh uh.

2. Children believe, act, and speak what they are taught. They develop through enforcement. Period. If you have an out of control kid who bites, hits, and acts like a flipping jack leg, you are to blame, not the kid. Now, let me say this. EVERY SINGLE KID I HAVE EVER KNOWN has bitten, kicked, hit, slapped, and been a jacked up jackhole at one time or another. Children do not always have the words to express themselves or the capacity for self control to hold back. We fail as adults every day to keep from doing or saying things we should not, however, as a general rule, biting, hitting, kicking, etc., should be unacceptable. A child should know that and should have the words to express themselves. If you have a kid that people are avoiding, pay attention the next time you are in a social situation to how many times your kid is a jackhole and how many times you fail to address it. I catch myself frequently enough. I have a platform with 2 bickering 4 year olds all day, every day. My kids are not aggressive. I like to think there is a reason for that.

3. Every single parent is interested in their child's milestones. That is reasonable and justified. Those first words, steps, and recognitions are absolutely unparalleled. I got to enjoy a bit of someone's firsts last night. It is unbelievable how exciting it can be to watch a child who is learning to walk. The excited parents are a hoot too. The excited neighbors maybe too excited? Nahhhh. What is not acceptable is competitive parenting. You guys know what I am talking about. You all have that random friend, and your conversations go something like this:

Me (you): "Boy, my kid sure did take a big poop last night."
Friend (your friend): "Well, my kid's turd last night wrapped around the bowl and came out of the water, so we measured it, and it was 49 feet long.....it was so cool, we are framing it and hanging it over our couch."

I admit, I have actually probably always been less of a competitive parent because I gave birth to my kids almost 2 months early, so they did everything late...and I mean everything. But why, why, why do people feel so compelled to be competitive? Swapping stories is one thing, but trying to win a non-existent award - rubbish! I can assure you I'm not winning the parent of the year award...ever...and I am pretty sure Ben and Alya are permanently disqualified from kid of the year, because they can be pretty impressive doo doo heads sometimes. Bragging periodically is expected. Gloating is sometimes in order...absolutely....be proud, your child is AMAZING, but countering every single thing I say with "my kid did it better" just makes me aggravated. [Anyone who wants to remind me right now that I do that about everything regarding all of us adults, go ahead. I know I do it. If you tell me right now that you have a headache I am sure I'll be convinced I have a migraine or an aneurysm or something astronomical. This is one of my many non-redeeming qualities. I admit I have a problem. Hi, my name is Christa, and you can't say anything in my presence without me having done or experienced the exact same thing. Sometime in the past I lost my ability to just relate to people and became kind of twitchy and overly-self-possessed seeming.....but it is really just my excitement to be with other adults when I get the chance and to share stories and identify that I am not alone in this world with all my ailments and shortcomings.]

5. Parenting is hard work. Give yourself a pat on the back. Right now...if you are a parent.

6. If you don't ever teach your child another thing, teach them to be respectful. Being respectful lays the foundation for them being good children and good people their whole lives through. Being respectful makes mommies' and daddies' lives easier. For example, I took my kids with me to pt this morning. They each took a toy and they played quietly for an hour while I got treatment. I never had to correct them or interrupt my doctor. They were happy, I was happy. I like that I frequently get complimented on their behavior in public. Now, I assure you we deal with some messes at home sometimes, but they know I expect them to be respectful at all times. This includes being quiet and acting responsibly in public so not to bother others. They abide by this. Therefore, I can generally be assured my kid is not causing a headache for someone in our vicinty. This truly lays the foundation for being thoughtful later toward friends, family, and the world in general. I know a lot of parents who are practicing the "whatever works for you kid" method. I generally err on the side of not giving in on the small things and not appropriately picking my battles. Both ways are wrong. Find your happy medium for raising a respectful kid.

I guess I could go on ad nauseum, but I'll stop here....and I'll allow a good hypocrisy window before I post pictures of the impressive math worksheets my kids did yesterday.

One final thought though before I go.....nah, I'll save that one for another day.

Happy hump day y'all!

Advice

What do you do when someone hurts you or does something you feel is wrong, and you tell them and they ignore you and continue their behavior?

What do you do when someone steps on you and then declines to have a backbone and have a confrontation?

What do you do?

My problem is, I like to have the final word....and some people just will not let me.

Rave

Apparently I don't have a life. I fritter away my days and do all of those insanely intriguing things I do in the course of a day and I rarely get a phone call or a text. I get the periodic Facebook message or email, and, otherwise, unless I have plans, I press the button on my heartrak ecat so the heart people will call me. Unfortunately they just want to know my symptoms. They don't have time to chat either.

So, today, my phone blew up.....you ready for it...because Jani Lane is DEAD. I hate to be crass, but, and let's just be clear on this NOW, my blog, my opinions. You no likey - you write your own blog....or comment so I can give you a hard time. I'm not indifferent. I am sensitive to the loss of life. The man had two children for crying out loud. However, apparently a lot of people thought this would be important news for me to have...

I had a life once, right?

Sooooooooooooooooo, brief blog dedicated to Jani Lane...kind of....

I think I met Jani Lane once, but I am not super clear on that, which, could be attributable to a myriad of things, but, most likely involves the simple fact that I have the memory of an oven mitt.

The thing about the band meetings was this.....I always singled out a band member (yeah I know, the dots), I always singled out a band memeber who was the LOVE OF MY LIFE. There was one in each band, and I really loved that person so much, and I felt confident that if I targeted one person in the band and dedicated all my love to him and none of his band mates that special someone would put me on a tour bus after a show and sweep me away into a fairy tale, big hair band world.....where I'd eventually meet Jon Bon Jovi.

This was all before 1991. Well, most of it.

You know....he killed everyone else's chance forever.

Don't feel disappointed that it wasn't Adam. He knows I almost forced my way onto Eddie's tour bus 2 years ago in Nashville. There are no secrets here.

Anyway...

My Warrant target was bassist, Jerry Dixon. Exhibit A:



I am not sure where we were or why or when or how. But he posed for a picture and walked away at which point I am sure I went home and cried, called WZYP on my clear phone with the cool colorful innards, asked who would be at the VBCC next(yes, damnit, it will always be the V.B.C.C, got it....whoever took that extraneous C out must not be a native Huntsvillian), and started planning the next target.

I have pictures. This stuff is not made up. I even tracked down phone numbers and such. I was a stealth cat I tell you.

I had to search for this guy online...Erik Turner... was also in Warrant. I think dragging Francie along at the ripe old age of 6 or 7 was probably a fabulous idea. This was during the later years, so, maybe, when I tell you folks I was never a groupie, you can buy it, since we were willing to drag along the kid.



Okay, I was only willing to provide semi-false information throught the end of that picture. I did kiss Blas Elias. (IKR) Someday, I'll share the photos of me with him. Kissed. He didn't take me off to the fairy tale land of sex, drugs, and rock and roll either.

I should send all of those targets thank you notes.

Anywho, I can never end a psycho band stalker story without mentioning Gunnar Nelson, who asked me to come to their show and go out with him afterwards (I was 18, pick up your jaw). I declined because I was dating someone, who, funny enough, never was faithful to me. TMI? Maybe...but it hardened me...made me less of a sucker and more agile with the emotional axe. I regret saying no to Jared Leto version 2.0 more than I regret saying no to Gunnar Nelson. Jared Leto version 2.0 was a real guy who was in honors program with me at UAH. I'm keeping his name private, because, well, he was just an innocent bystander in my path of relationship destruction that I blazed from 19?? until I met Adam. Anywho, I would never change the outcome of my life, the where I am now. I wouldn't even go back to the Ryman and hop on that bus with Eddie Vedder.

Okay, that's probably a slight stretch, but no one was harmed in the writing of this post.

Me with Gunnar:





Good bye Jani Lane. If I had a picture of my mother's red Celica we called "Cherry Pie", I'd post it.

Have a great weekend all....play a little bit of your fave 80s music and appreciate that, for most of you, back then you just dreamed of being free, being out of the tutelage of teenagehood and out of the tyranny of being ruled by your parents and appreciate that here we are, now, free to do what we want. We are all right where we dreamed we'd be.

If you are not where you dreamed you'd be, go find your happiness. I know I have! Who knew it would never involve a tour bus or rock and roll??????? Well, okay, rock and roll has always been involved, but.....Jon, Eddie.....I'm pretty sure the guy who rocks out the ukulele and Xbox rock band at home, who sings lovely renditions of Vasoline, has you both beat.

Peace. out.

Caves

Sooooooo......I used to be public...the blog that is.....well, I have always been a tad bit public as well, you know, me, myself, personally....always sharing way too much information...kind of that loud and obnoxious girl in the room that you sort of hate, but you don't kick her out b/c she is keeping everyone entertained, and she'll give you something to talk about later. Yeah, that girl. That's me.

Then I had kids....and I started a blog...and people would comment....and more people would email me (because for some reason folks love to read but hate to comment) and would tell me how much they loved my writing.

Then the thing happened.....there was an odd comment left on the blog one day. It was a foreign language I cannot read, and there was a link, and the link went to something that looked vaguely like young Asian girl porn.

Now, this is how 99% of brains work: "Oh my gosh, [I'm pretending like I am a talking brain here] some crazy people are trying to promote their teenage girl soft core porn on my blog about my sweet, precious, little angel, pumpkin babies."

A cloud of irrationality fills this space here { }

My brain: "HOLY SHIT, somebody overseas has figured out how to tap into my blog and they are posting pictures of my kids eating cereal on their child porn website and these kind of people are hackers and they know how to figure things out so they are probably going to figure out where we live and they are going to come and kidnap my kids and it will all be my fault because I allowed this blog to be public. Sick bastards."

Click.

I pulled the plug and the blog went private.

And, I admit, the comments and emails have dwindled to nada.....okay, I get some traffic, but it is limited, and, frankly, I used to get these super excited messages about how fun my writing is (or, when it is twisted, I think people who feel twisted that day don't feel so alone).

And then I thought about all the blogs I enjoy ever so much that are public, that involve children (see mhy blog list for the blogs I love) and I felt led back to going public.

Am I going to surpass 4 followers? Maybe not.

Are some crazy muthas going to steal my children? I hope not.

Am I going to write things that are shocking and in poor taste? of course....apparently, I am the queen of shock, and, considering I don't try to be, I figure I have a natural affinity......might.as.well.work.it.

Not sure what I'll tackle. I've had tangy topics before. Generally, I just hit a kind of weekly update...here is a kid eating a booger.....here is a kid acting like a goofy shit (oh yeah, my blog, gonna curse)....

Next time I'll leave out all the dot, dot, dotssssssss and I'll just keep it on lockdown.

Try to enjoy while I am here. If Ben and Alya show up on an Asian child porn website, I'll have to pull the plug again.

Doctor's Excuse

So, I remember last year making a mental note that the kids had managed to get sick at the same time school started. The timing was too auspicious for me to be able to blame Adam for bringing home germs....so, it seemed like fate, except, anybody who is still buying predestination as a solid and singular theory gets an eyebrow raise from me.

add free will

there we go

So, Saturday Alya had a runny nose. It was nothing spectacular. Sunday she spiked a 104 fever. Her ped on call asked us to come down to the office (have I ever told you guys how much I adore these doctors?) She tested negative for strep. He said he felt like she had a virus or an UTI.

She declined to give a urine specimen. Now that she is 4, we trusted her when she said she was okay and put off the specimen until the following day. She seemed to have a typical fever virus until

well

green goop started oozing from her tear duct

that can't be right, right?

right

So, back to the doctor we went.

Menwhile, this should have clued me into something with the other kid...





He never falls asleep mid PIRATING, but, he did....and he had started with a runny nose.

Nurse: Is Ben okay?
Me: He has a runny nose.
Nurse: Do you want me to go ahead and put him in with Alya?
Me: No, he is fine.
Nurse: oooookkkkkkkaaaayyyyyyy

We got to the ped office and Ben said, "My mouth hurts." He waited until Alya was in triage to say anything. The nurse checked him in lovingly and in we went.

Ben has strep throat.

Alya has pink eye potentially caused by the same strep virus Ben has...but it is now bacterial....

and the weekend stuff was potentially an unrelated fever virus

and now they are both on antibiotics

AND I sincerely felt like I had not spent enough on medical costs this month, you know, with the ER visit, and all my time thus far and coming up with the specialists.

Geesh

It's worth it...every stinking penny...I got to give the babies (I know, I know....shhhh...just let me hang on to it) a true sick day today...and, well, we plan to continue as such until everyone is well. There was a lot of tinker toying, play housing, and generally lazy play all morning.

There were also lots of fluids and healthy foods, but I hate to say I didn't really have any takers. Sick babies are so sad.






If you ever want a super yummy chocolate cake, this cake is the one. It is rich, beware.



Apparently GiGi decidced to take a sick day too.

Fiddlestix

When I look at my photographs lately, I realize how shaky I've become. Sigh. It really went from bad to worse, didn't it? It's a sad thing, really.....

But we won't dwell on that, because you all know the details, and repeating the story again just makes me anxious for Friday and what is going to happen.

I just wanted to share the fun pictures with the cigar box guitar that Daddy made the kids.

Dependable

Horrible, isn't it....and yet, you feel kind of fascinated and happy....

If I made you feel banana, I apologize.